Oh Hello. It’s about time I said something here. It’s starting to get a little dusty.
I’m turning 16 in a couple of minutes, (Actually in a couple of hours cause I was born at 11:45 am but who’s counting?) and I expected to feel something. Different maybe. Or older (How do you feel older?) But honestly, I don’t feel anything. Is it because I choose not to? That I’m actually holding myself back from saying what I feel because I’m afraid of being judged by others or myself? Maybe.
I wish I felt something. Wiser? Matured? Taller? Nope. Actually, some to think of it, I’ve never really felt different on my birthdays. I’d just wake up, go through the days, receiving a little more attention than I’m used to, and go to sleep. Why should there be any difference this year?
BECAUSE I’M TURNING 16 DAMN IT. IT’S SUPPOSED TO MEAN SOMETHING.
Of course it means something. I means I’ve survived 16 years. Whooo go me. Maybe that’s why you celebrate your birthday. It’s the celebration on SURVIVAL.
Oh my goodness what am I talking about.
I’m sorry for wasting your time. The past 2 paragraphs mean absolutely nothing.
Okay let’s try this again.
I actually don’t like birthday parties so much. I don’t like having all that attention. (shocking. I know.) And really, I don’t see the point in having a birthday PARTY. Okay fine I take that back. there’s the cake, a close group of friends, presents…. Parties are fun. Then again, I wouldn’t mind not having a birthday party. I’m totally cool with it. ( I just remembered i wrote a short essay on the importance of birthday parties. The irony is killing me.)
SO ANA WHAT HAVE YOU LEARNT IN THE PAST 16 YEARS?
Alot. Most of which I wish I could have written down. But’s that’s life isn’t it? It’s a constant discovery of who you are. And at every birthday when you think back about how you lived your life you smile because you realize, everything really does happen for a reason. You didn’t get that Xbox you wanted so you could focus more on your studies and enjoy the little things. Like how the pretty it looks when the sun traces the silhouette of a tree branch. You didn’t get a good grade for an exam (or should I say multiple exams) so you’d work harder and never have to relive that humiliation again. It’s true when they say that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Everything I’ve learnt and gone through made me the person that I am today. Who am I? I don’t know yet. It’s still a work in progress. But I’m proud of who I’ve got so far. It’s one of the things I’ve learnt i the past year. I’ve learnt the importance of being proud of yourself. The you you have now is the only you you’ve got so why not love and be proud of it, right?
I have so much I wish I could write down right now. But that’s the problem. you know when you have too much to think of and say that you don’t know where or how to start? That’s how I’m feeling right now. But I’m gonna push it all to the side and enjoy the last few minutes I have with my 15 year old self… watching lizzie mcguire episodes. Oh. It’s almost midnight.
3…2…1…
See you again next year. <3
-Ana
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Friday, January 1, 2010
2010 Resolutions
So as the year is coming to an end, I did what any no-life-bum would do to feel better about themselves. RESOLUTIONS!!
So here I goooooo…..
#1 : Be Healthy
Do the works. Drink 8 glasses of water,eat my fruits and vegetables and lastly, try my best to excercise. I’m going to try change my lifestyle and go parttime vegetarian. Mostly because I’m still a growing child. I need my protein. I just need to take care of my body, detoxify and relax after all the stress I’ve had to endure last year. This coming year will be a long shower.
#2 : Be green
I’m going start recycling. Not just seperate glass, paper, plastic and throw them into the extravagantly colorful bins everywhere but to start changing my life, stop wasting and be responsible for the things I own. ” you are responsible for the things you buy and so you are also responsible for how you are to dispose of it. ” - Jason Mraz. Lastly, I’m going to stop using electronics so much. Not only is it going to benefit my studies and concentration but it is also going to benefit the earth. The less time we use on the tv and computer, the less energy we suck out of our precious earth. Hence the more we are killing mother nature. Love. Don’t Suck.
#3 : Dont Let My Mind, Stop Me From Having A Good Time
Words from the great Jason Mraz. I’m going to start taking chances this coming year. Going to block all unnecessary negative thoughts, just take a stand and do it. Release all logic and let yourself be free.
#4 : Love
Stop judging others by their minor actions. Be kind, be gentle and love. Do to others what you would do to you. It may be difficult to think differently but it’s not that hard to act. And the longer you act that way you want to be, the more you will think what you want to think. Love earth as well. Stop hatin yo.
#5 : Be Grateful
The late Michael Jackson is a perfect example of being grateful. The way he cherished everything he had and gave what he didn’t need. I want to be like him. I want to cherish my family, my friends and everything I own. Never be ignorant to others who are not as lucky as you. Don’t just sit there and state. Help and show the world how you should be grateful for what you have, the people on earth and lastly, be grateful that there are people all around the world who love you for what you are. Not what you wear. So as you are reading this, be happy for you are blessed.
This year has been a journey. I’ve laughed, loved and cried. I am sure I have grown. And I’m stronger than ever. So what stopping me from turning to the next chapter and takin down those battles? Absolutely Nothing.
Ciao and have a happy new year.
-Ana Larae F. Rios
So here I goooooo…..
#1 : Be Healthy
Do the works. Drink 8 glasses of water,eat my fruits and vegetables and lastly, try my best to excercise. I’m going to try change my lifestyle and go parttime vegetarian. Mostly because I’m still a growing child. I need my protein. I just need to take care of my body, detoxify and relax after all the stress I’ve had to endure last year. This coming year will be a long shower.
#2 : Be green
I’m going start recycling. Not just seperate glass, paper, plastic and throw them into the extravagantly colorful bins everywhere but to start changing my life, stop wasting and be responsible for the things I own. ” you are responsible for the things you buy and so you are also responsible for how you are to dispose of it. ” - Jason Mraz. Lastly, I’m going to stop using electronics so much. Not only is it going to benefit my studies and concentration but it is also going to benefit the earth. The less time we use on the tv and computer, the less energy we suck out of our precious earth. Hence the more we are killing mother nature. Love. Don’t Suck.
#3 : Dont Let My Mind, Stop Me From Having A Good Time
Words from the great Jason Mraz. I’m going to start taking chances this coming year. Going to block all unnecessary negative thoughts, just take a stand and do it. Release all logic and let yourself be free.
#4 : Love
Stop judging others by their minor actions. Be kind, be gentle and love. Do to others what you would do to you. It may be difficult to think differently but it’s not that hard to act. And the longer you act that way you want to be, the more you will think what you want to think. Love earth as well. Stop hatin yo.
#5 : Be Grateful
The late Michael Jackson is a perfect example of being grateful. The way he cherished everything he had and gave what he didn’t need. I want to be like him. I want to cherish my family, my friends and everything I own. Never be ignorant to others who are not as lucky as you. Don’t just sit there and state. Help and show the world how you should be grateful for what you have, the people on earth and lastly, be grateful that there are people all around the world who love you for what you are. Not what you wear. So as you are reading this, be happy for you are blessed.
This year has been a journey. I’ve laughed, loved and cried. I am sure I have grown. And I’m stronger than ever. So what stopping me from turning to the next chapter and takin down those battles? Absolutely Nothing.
Ciao and have a happy new year.
-Ana Larae F. Rios
Saturday, November 28, 2009
White-walled room
Greetings to my non-existent readers,Saddam and kiwi.
It's pretty much a grave yard here. It's just so darkly opalescent here that it feels kind of demeaning to fill it with happy words. Change layout perhaps?
Anyways, as some of you may know, (actually just kiwi) I have set up a new fort (blog) in tumblr.com. It's tagboard less, music less and plain. But it's still a work in progress. So visit it if you want to. I'm probably going to update more often there anyways. It's prettier ;D
So I just got back from the trip Hong Kong with my NPCC buddies ( part of). it was an experience. If you want to know more, go to wordswithoutspaceslooklikethis.tumblr.com grazie.
I'm in the midst of relinking everyone. Actually, I was going to relink peisun but she removed her blog. What to do?
So instead I am going to add some people to the family of dead blogs in the right side bar. Congrats to Jason Mraz and Ninjadrops ;D If only they knew I existed.
I visited Jason Mraz's blog just now and am extremely, irrevocably and unfathomably PISSED.
There was a vow of silence that I want to take part in ( cuz I can't shut up. ) it's a project that shed's light on the millions of oppressed children around the globe who have no rights. It would have been interesting to do that. Plus the t-shirt is funky. Jason is such a saint. <3
It's Sunday (please don't listen to the time given below. ) and I'm supposed to say something about the Merlin episode today but I don't really have much to say. My excitement died down 45 minutes ago when i realized there wasn't anymore videos to watch.
Speaking of dying excitement, does anyone know the exact date of the opening of universal studios in Singapore? There aren't even advertisements out yet. It's disappointing. I am excited bout the 3 roller coasters (2 ginormous ones and an indoor one) that are currently being built. The heavy traffic that will follow after, not so much.
So visit Vivo city as much as you can this year folks! Or it will soon be so filled with traffic it will turn into a ghost mall. Like the ones at Orchard. You know what I'm talking about.
I better go. I'm dreading homework but I have to do it. Good thing tomorrow's the last lesson. FREEDOM!
Zai Jian
-Ana
P.S New Moon coming soon. Yeah.
P.P.S The new blog really is boring if you don't read the posts. Enter at your own risk.
It's pretty much a grave yard here. It's just so darkly opalescent here that it feels kind of demeaning to fill it with happy words. Change layout perhaps?
Anyways, as some of you may know, (actually just kiwi) I have set up a new fort (blog) in tumblr.com. It's tagboard less, music less and plain. But it's still a work in progress. So visit it if you want to. I'm probably going to update more often there anyways. It's prettier ;D
So I just got back from the trip Hong Kong with my NPCC buddies ( part of). it was an experience. If you want to know more, go to wordswithoutspaceslooklikethis.tumblr.com grazie.
I'm in the midst of relinking everyone. Actually, I was going to relink peisun but she removed her blog. What to do?
So instead I am going to add some people to the family of dead blogs in the right side bar. Congrats to Jason Mraz and Ninjadrops ;D If only they knew I existed.
I visited Jason Mraz's blog just now and am extremely, irrevocably and unfathomably PISSED.
There was a vow of silence that I want to take part in ( cuz I can't shut up. ) it's a project that shed's light on the millions of oppressed children around the globe who have no rights. It would have been interesting to do that. Plus the t-shirt is funky. Jason is such a saint. <3
It's Sunday (please don't listen to the time given below. ) and I'm supposed to say something about the Merlin episode today but I don't really have much to say. My excitement died down 45 minutes ago when i realized there wasn't anymore videos to watch.
Speaking of dying excitement, does anyone know the exact date of the opening of universal studios in Singapore? There aren't even advertisements out yet. It's disappointing. I am excited bout the 3 roller coasters (2 ginormous ones and an indoor one) that are currently being built. The heavy traffic that will follow after, not so much.
So visit Vivo city as much as you can this year folks! Or it will soon be so filled with traffic it will turn into a ghost mall. Like the ones at Orchard. You know what I'm talking about.
I better go. I'm dreading homework but I have to do it. Good thing tomorrow's the last lesson. FREEDOM!
Zai Jian
-Ana
P.S New Moon coming soon. Yeah.
P.P.S The new blog really is boring if you don't read the posts. Enter at your own risk.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Another Night Of Introspection
Haven't you ever watched a talk show or any educational show that talks about living life to it's fullest, not caring what anyone thinks and just going for it?
If no, you haven't lived.
If yes, you've lived too long.
I never listened to those things.
I always thought I had endless years ahead of me. I'll do it then.
But now that I think of it, more than 1/10 of my life has gone.
Soon it'll be 1/5.
Then 1/4
Then 1/3
Then 1/2
And eventually I'll die.
Everything dies in the end. There's no point denying it.
I probably won't live that long. For all I know, I could be living up 70 at most.
God forbid I get hit by a car tomorrow.
Anyways, Procrastination is an annoying, frustrating, relaxing, worrying thing.
It's everything.
I'm so tired of procrastinating but I can't help it.
WHO CAN?
I know it's bad, sinful and I'll probably go to hell for being a bum.
Yet I still do it.
I never learn.
I will never forget what I learnt from MindChamps ( whoo...)
What you hate about others, is what you hate about yourself.
Which just freaks me out.
Because I dislike many people.
For various reasons.
So according to my calculations, I'm a bitch.
Do you know how depressing it is to realize that you are not a nice person?
It's the pits man.
But God said "Thou shall not judge"
So does it mean it's wrong what I am thinking?
I'm so confused ...
Anyways, the year is ending soon. And I couldn't be more frightened in my life.
My 'O' Levels are in 2 years.
When am I going to have my deserved vacation?
That just makes me hate myself more.
If I hadn't been to damn cocky last year and actually studied for the Express entrance exam last year, I could be chillin right now.
BUT NO.
Once I found out that I got > 70%
I sat on my lazy ass and watched clouds go by.
So here I am.
Doing the time for my crime.
To end of, I am going to admit that I was stupid.
I should have listened to those stupid talk shows and I should have been more prepared for whatever life was ready to throw at me.
But 1 question still remains.
How am I supposed to take chances, when there are so many around?
Ciao.
-Ana
If no, you haven't lived.
If yes, you've lived too long.
I never listened to those things.
I always thought I had endless years ahead of me. I'll do it then.
But now that I think of it, more than 1/10 of my life has gone.
Soon it'll be 1/5.
Then 1/4
Then 1/3
Then 1/2
And eventually I'll die.
Everything dies in the end. There's no point denying it.
I probably won't live that long. For all I know, I could be living up 70 at most.
God forbid I get hit by a car tomorrow.
Anyways, Procrastination is an annoying, frustrating, relaxing, worrying thing.
It's everything.
I'm so tired of procrastinating but I can't help it.
WHO CAN?
I know it's bad, sinful and I'll probably go to hell for being a bum.
Yet I still do it.
I never learn.
I will never forget what I learnt from MindChamps ( whoo...)
What you hate about others, is what you hate about yourself.
Which just freaks me out.
Because I dislike many people.
For various reasons.
So according to my calculations, I'm a bitch.
Do you know how depressing it is to realize that you are not a nice person?
It's the pits man.
But God said "Thou shall not judge"
So does it mean it's wrong what I am thinking?
I'm so confused ...
Anyways, the year is ending soon. And I couldn't be more frightened in my life.
My 'O' Levels are in 2 years.
When am I going to have my deserved vacation?
That just makes me hate myself more.
If I hadn't been to damn cocky last year and actually studied for the Express entrance exam last year, I could be chillin right now.
BUT NO.
Once I found out that I got > 70%
I sat on my lazy ass and watched clouds go by.
So here I am.
Doing the time for my crime.
To end of, I am going to admit that I was stupid.
I should have listened to those stupid talk shows and I should have been more prepared for whatever life was ready to throw at me.
But 1 question still remains.
How am I supposed to take chances, when there are so many around?
Ciao.
-Ana
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Oh yeah.
" Ive got two tickets to iron maiden baby. Come with me Friday,don't say maybe I'm just a teenage dirtbag baby like you...." - teenage dirtbag, Wheatus
I just wanted to talk about my goal for this holiday.
TO BECOME INTERNATIONAL
Damn right home skillet.
I know it sounds hard but I'm not talking about learning every single language known to man ( I barely cope with chinanese) I just want to learn the accents. That would be just dandy :)
Especially Irish accents. Partially because of the difficulty of the accent and the various differences between northern Ireland and the rest. ( and also because of colin Morgan)
I've got my London accent pretty much down.
Anyways, going to watch alot of Colin Morgan to help me with my practice. :D
I've got camp tomorrow and I'm excited :) finally something exciting is happening in my holiday.
And then in 2 weeks, I'll be in Hong Kong riding all of the rides in HK Disney.
I have to.
I must ride all of the rides.
But due to time constrain, I'll have to deduct some rides and ride those that meet my rollercoaster/scary as hell/ holy shit what the fuck was I thinking standard.
I better go. Gotta start practicing the practise which makes my practise perfect apperently.
Ciao ;D
-Ana
Racsim against gingers - God Bradley you slay me. Lmfao
I just wanted to talk about my goal for this holiday.
TO BECOME INTERNATIONAL
Damn right home skillet.
I know it sounds hard but I'm not talking about learning every single language known to man ( I barely cope with chinanese) I just want to learn the accents. That would be just dandy :)
Especially Irish accents. Partially because of the difficulty of the accent and the various differences between northern Ireland and the rest. ( and also because of colin Morgan)
I've got my London accent pretty much down.
Anyways, going to watch alot of Colin Morgan to help me with my practice. :D
I've got camp tomorrow and I'm excited :) finally something exciting is happening in my holiday.
And then in 2 weeks, I'll be in Hong Kong riding all of the rides in HK Disney.
I have to.
I must ride all of the rides.
But due to time constrain, I'll have to deduct some rides and ride those that meet my rollercoaster/scary as hell/ holy shit what the fuck was I thinking standard.
I better go. Gotta start practicing the practise which makes my practise perfect apperently.
Ciao ;D
-Ana
Racsim against gingers - God Bradley you slay me. Lmfao
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Colin Morgan <3
Oh. My. Gosh.
When I thought I couldn't like Colin Morgan more, he goes and smiles that smile and Im speechless.
At first I thought, damn that boys got big ears. But then he started to talk. And his British accent was kinda HOT. And then I looked closer and almost DIED. He has one of the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen. So blue I could stare into them forever. And his smile. I know I've mentioned them before but I just can't get enough. His dimples are so bloody adorable. And I have to admit. He is the only guy who can pull of a beatles haircut and look sexy as hell.
Sighhhh. Colin Morgan.
But that's not the end. I was already mad for the boy but when I heard him speak outside of the Merlin bubble, I did die.
He has an Irish accent. And I don't normally like Irish accents but when colin speaks it, it's like heaven. Like the angel from above singing in chorus. And he's from northern Ireland so that means... Well, idk. But he's irish and now, I find that extremly attractive.
But I'm not someone who falls just for looks. PLEASE! ( shut up shareen. )
He's KIND too!!!! AWWWWWWWWWW. He listens to his parents and helps out children. HE'S SOOOOOO SWEEEEEETTTTTTTT!!!!!!
But that's not the best thing. The best thing is that he ....
Is....
FUNNY!!!!
Nut not just slapstick funny.
He has dark humor and I LOVE that.
He dresses hot too. Mean. He dresses normal. But on him it looks HOT.
Sigh. Colin Morgan.
I'm so taking pictures of him and bringing him with me on my way to HK.
Bradley James is funny too. Very funny.
Butttttt. Idk. There's nothing.
~COLIN MORGAN~
I gtg.
Ciao!
-Mrs. Colin Morgan. ;D
" HES GONNA BURN!!! heh. Sorry. He's gonna burn. " ILYCM :D you're so funnnnnnay.
When I thought I couldn't like Colin Morgan more, he goes and smiles that smile and Im speechless.
At first I thought, damn that boys got big ears. But then he started to talk. And his British accent was kinda HOT. And then I looked closer and almost DIED. He has one of the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen. So blue I could stare into them forever. And his smile. I know I've mentioned them before but I just can't get enough. His dimples are so bloody adorable. And I have to admit. He is the only guy who can pull of a beatles haircut and look sexy as hell.
Sighhhh. Colin Morgan.
But that's not the end. I was already mad for the boy but when I heard him speak outside of the Merlin bubble, I did die.
He has an Irish accent. And I don't normally like Irish accents but when colin speaks it, it's like heaven. Like the angel from above singing in chorus. And he's from northern Ireland so that means... Well, idk. But he's irish and now, I find that extremly attractive.
But I'm not someone who falls just for looks. PLEASE! ( shut up shareen. )
He's KIND too!!!! AWWWWWWWWWW. He listens to his parents and helps out children. HE'S SOOOOOO SWEEEEEETTTTTTTT!!!!!!
But that's not the best thing. The best thing is that he ....
Is....
FUNNY!!!!
Nut not just slapstick funny.
He has dark humor and I LOVE that.
He dresses hot too. Mean. He dresses normal. But on him it looks HOT.
Sigh. Colin Morgan.
I'm so taking pictures of him and bringing him with me on my way to HK.
Bradley James is funny too. Very funny.
Butttttt. Idk. There's nothing.
~COLIN MORGAN~
I gtg.
Ciao!
-Mrs. Colin Morgan. ;D
" HES GONNA BURN!!! heh. Sorry. He's gonna burn. " ILYCM :D you're so funnnnnnay.
Friday, November 6, 2009
Accomplished
DAMN RIGHT.If you cant read it cuz it's backwards, it pretty much says " EXPRESS HERE I COME!!" And it was the only picture that came out right and the words are legible. The others are much more glamorous ;D
Anyways, YES! IT'S TRUE! I did it!!! And I dont think there are enough words in the world that are powerful enough to encapsulate my happiness towards this moment. Yet, there is an inner being inside my head that is angry and frustrated because it keep saying how pathetic i am. how stupid it was for me to take 2 years to get this far. How since i didnt get it right the first time, the second one would be futile.
But it doesn't matter anymore. I did it. I've reached my goals. Does it matter how long i took? How little i have gotten above the borderline? NO. I'm here and safe. That's all that matters.
I can't say i did this without help. I cant thank the teachers enough for tolerating my constant questions and some of my classmates that helped during *ahem* important times.
The only worry now is my subject allocation and the fact that my 'O's are in 2 years time. I shall try and stop worrying about my subject allocation and let whatever happens be Gods will. For my 'O's, well, we'll see...
Ciao, Bella Luna
-Ana
P.S watched 'this is it" today. couldnt stop crying. :(
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